The UNKAGED™ Woman Podcast with Brig Johnson, APN, MSNA. Where high-achieving Black & Brown women reclaim themselves.

Queen, you've been giving wife-level loyalty on a girlfriend-level container — and it's time to name that pattern without shame.

In this episode, I'm getting into something tricky but necessary: the gap between what you're giving in a relationship and what's actually been established. This isn't about weakness, desperation, or low self-esteem. It's a program — and once you can see it clearly, you get to choose something different.

What You'll Learn

• Understand the difference between "wife work" and "girlfriend salary" — and why that gap deserves to be named
• Recognize the real cost of over-giving: your time, your self-trust, your standards, and the version of you with her own dreams
• Trace where this programming comes from — childhood, love songs, church messaging, and the women in our families we admired most
• Unpack the most dangerous belief hiding underneath it all: if he leaves, it's because you didn't give enough
• Learn why a man who only stays when you're over-giving wasn't staying — he was being comfortable
• Discover the most important question in the whole episode: are you giving from love, or from fear?

Why It Matters

We were taught that the ring was the reward — that if we gave enough, waited long enough, loved hard enough, it would all be worth it. But the reward was never the ring. It's respect, reciprocity, and a relationship where both people show up because they want to, not because one person has been auditioning for a position the other person never offered.

You were never the problem. You were running a program that was never designed to serve you. Society designed it to serve everyone else — and now you get to choose something different.

Take Action

Before you give at wife level, define the container. Ask yourself: what's actually been established here? And what's driving this — love, or obligation?

Then take the free Kages Self-Assessment and find out which program has been running your relationships:
👉🏾 assessment.brigjohnson.com

Visit my website: brigjohnson.com

Queen, the question you've been asking after the betrayal isn't the one that will actually give you peace.

If you've ever been blindsided by someone you trusted, this episode is for you. Grab your tea, find a quiet space, and let's talk — as friends, as women who've been there. Because there's something we do after we've been hurt that feels like healing but isn't. And today I want to give you the one question that actually gets you to the other side.

What You'll Learn

• Understand why your brain goes into detective mode after betrayal — and why it's not torturing you, it's trying to protect you
• See why the answer you're looking for was never in the evidence, no matter how long you search for it
• Discover the real question underneath the question — the one that actually has an answer you can build on
• Recognize the difference between performing okay and actually being strong — and what it costs you to hold it all together when you're not
• Learn why self-trust isn't a decision you make once, but a practice you build through real reps over time

Why It Matters

We spend months — sometimes years — going back through every conversation, every red flag, every moment we should have seen coming. But here's what I've learned at 61: some things just don't make sense, and the person who hurt you may not even understand why they did it. No amount of investigation is going to give you that answer.

The security you've been looking for was never in them. It was always in you. The woman who trusts herself to handle whatever comes doesn't need to run an investigation anymore. She's free to love fully — not from fear, but from knowing she's got herself no matter what.

Doing it soft is how you do it strong.

Take Action

Sit with this question: Can I trust myself to take care of me, no matter what someone else does?

And find out which Kage has been making it hard to trust yourself — take the free Kages Self-Assessment, five minutes, completely free: 👉🏾 assessment.brigjohnson.com

Visit my website: brigjohnson.com

Queen, your decision is the sentence. Everything else is just a footnote — and it's time to stop leading with the footnote.

In this episode, I'm getting into something I caught myself doing in real time: building a full legal brief for a woman I'd met once, just to say no. Big decisions, small transactions — the pattern runs everywhere. And today we're going to name it, trace it to its roots, and start dismantling it.

What You'll Learn

• Recognize the footnote pattern — why we bury our decisions at the end of a long explanation instead of leading with them
• Understand the real cost of over-explaining: how it gives others ammunition to negotiate with your reasons and erodes your own self-trust over time
• Trace the roots of this programming — from survival on the plantation, through Jim Crow, the angry Black woman trope, the family table, and the doctor's office — and why the footnote was once a safety net
• See why knowing the pattern isn't enough — and why this is nervous system and identity level work, not a communication tip
• Practice three concrete reps you can start today: decide cold, lead with the decision, and let the silence breathe

Why It Matters

You didn't learn to over-explain because you're insecure. You learned it because in the rooms your mothers, grandmothers, and great-grandmothers walked into, leading with the decision wasn't safe. That programming got passed down — not in a conversation, but in your nervous system. The footnote kept somebody safe. The footnote got somebody home. But the rooms have changed, and you get to put it down now.

The silence after your decision is not a problem to fix. The silence is where your authority lives.

Take Action

Notice every time you don't lead with the decision. Notice the pull to justify, to soften, to make it pretty. That's the cage talking — and what you can't see runs you.

Then take the free KAGES Self-Assessment — five minutes, completely free — and find out exactly which survival program has been writing footnotes for decisions that never needed them: 👉🏾 assessment.brigjohnson.com

Visit my website: brigjohnson.com

Queen, you were never the problem. You were just given a tool that wasn't built for you — and then blamed when it didn't fit.

In this episode, I want to introduce you to Bob. Bob is fine. Bob starts every attempt at growth from baseline — neutral, stable, rested, regulated. You? You start already carrying. And that changes everything. This is the conversation bro self-help has never been willing to have.

What You'll Learn

• Meet Bob — and finally understand why the starting line was never equal and what that actually means for your goals
• Identify the real loads you've been carrying that no productivity system ever accounted for: hyper vigilance, allostatic stress, emotional labor, generational history, and more
• Understand the Capacity Gap — why pushing harder on an overloaded nervous system doesn't build capacity, it depletes it further
• See the three gaps keeping high-achieving women spinning: the Capacity Gap, the Authority Gap, and the Belief Gap
• Learn why the goal was never to become more disciplined — and what to aim for instead
• Discover the difference between resting and actually recovering — and why it matters for your next attempt

Why It Matters

Every program you've ever tried was an app running on an outdated operating system. The OS was installed for survival in a world that no longer exists — and the apps keep crashing. It was never your discipline. It was never your mindset. It was never you. You just ran out of capacity that was never replenished, because you started so far behind the start line Bob never even knew existed. This ends now.

Take Action

Next time you quit something, don't ask what's wrong with me. Ask: what was I carrying that I never accounted for?

Then take the free CAGES Self-Assessment — it takes five minutes and will show you exactly which of the 5 survival programs has been quietly running your life: 👉🏾 assessment.brigjohnson.com

Have a topic you want me to cover? Reach out: brig@brigjohnson.com

Visit my website: brigjohnson.com

Queen, you didn't give up — you just stopped seeing yourself as the one who gets to create.

In this episode, I'm getting into something that almost slipped past me completely — because it doesn't look like giving up. It looks like being responsible. Mature. Realistic. But here's the truth: at some point, protection becomes a prison. And if you've been living in the middle ground — no big dreams, no big risks, no big disappointments — this episode is for you.

What You'll Learn

• Recognize the four ways women respond to disappointment — and identify the sneakiest one: the woman who looks like she recovered but never really got back in the game
• Understand why you stopped dreaming — and why the dream was never actually the problem
• See the critical difference between the outcome and the desire, and why lumping them together is keeping you stuck
• Discover what a Loyalty Contract is and how to use it to protect yourself when things get hard — without shutting down
• Learn the four steps to rebuild your relationship with wanting, dreaming, and creating again

Why It Matters

The quiet cost of not dreaming isn't just personal. Every person who needed you fully — your clients, your kids, your community — got the version of you that was playing it safe. The world was never designed for us to see ourselves as creators and builders. So when disappointment hits, we don't just lose the round — we lose our sense of ourselves as someone who gets to be in the game at all. This episode is about getting that back.

You didn't get too old for the dream. You just stopped believing you were the one who could make it real. And that is a completely different problem — with a completely different solution.

Take Action

Start with one small thing. One thing you stopped doing because it made you want something. Email me or DM me and tell me what it is.

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/johnsonbrig

Find out which cage has been keeping you in the middle ground — take the free Kage Assessment (just 5 minutes): 👉🏾 assessment.brigjohnson.com

Visit my website: brigjohnson.com

Queen, you've been a foreigner in your own life for long enough — and it's time to come home.

After a real, unfiltered season away, I'm back. In this episode, I'm pulling back the curtain on what actually happened: the financial reality of my coaching business, the decision to return to anesthesia, the inner battle I fought for six months, and the hard-won clarity that came out of it all. This isn't just a comeback — it's a full OS upgrade.

What You'll Learn

• Understand why silencing your inner critic doesn't work — and what to do instead: listen with respect
• Recognize how fear compounds and shrinks your energy, making it even harder to move forward
• See the difference between "putting your feelings in a corner" and actually processing them
• Discover what the Unkaged Method really is — not a program, but an operating system upgrade for your life
• Identify the 5 survival programs most high-achieving women are running without knowing it: Cultural Program, Armor of Achievement, Giving Until Gone, Energy Depletion, and Silencing the Self

Why It Matters

The systems were never going to protect us — and the current political climate is making that clearer than ever. But what's also clearer is this: we have tools available now that didn't exist in 1930, or the 50s, or the 60s. We can build our own. We can serve our own. But to do that, we have to be able to lead ourselves — and that means getting out of your own way, upgrading the OS, and becoming truly Unkaged.

I spent nine months not just teaching this work, but living it. I'm back clearer, stronger, and with more to say than ever.

Take Action

Find out which of the 5 survival programs has been running your life — take my free Kage Assessment (just 5 minutes):

👉🏾 assessment.brigjohnson.com

Visit my website: brigjohnson.com

Queen, let's talk about the elephant in the room: that exhausting dance you're doing in your relationship where you're solving his problems before he even names them, managing his emotions while yours get pushed aside, and wondering why love feels like a second job. If you're tired of performing for love instead of receiving it, this episode is your wake-up call.

It's time to stop auditioning for partnership and start demanding the real thing. Because what society calls "devotion" is actually just patriarchy in a hoodie—and your nervous system is paying the price.

What You'll Learn

• Discover how "overfunctioning" elevates cortisol and creates adrenal fatigue in your body

• Recognize performance partnership vs. true partnership—and why one is just patriarchy in disguise

• Transform your understanding of safety: why regulating his emotions will never regulate yours

• Notice how overfunctioning prevents your partner from developing emotional accountability

• Shift from emotional babysitting to creating space for genuine co-regulation

Why It Matters

High-achieving Black women are conditioned to carry everyone's emotional weight—and it's literally breaking down our bodies. This pattern of self-abandonment doesn't just show up in romantic relationships; it's how we operate with bosses, children, and friends. Breaking free from performance partnership is about reclaiming your worth, your energy, and your right to be fully supported instead of always being the one doing the supporting.

Take Action

Take my free quiz to discover how your nervous system and survival patterns may be blocking your clarity:

👉🏾 brigjohnson.com/stress-quiz 

 

RESOURCES

• Join my Newsletter, Unlearn and Unleash
• Share Your Takeaways With Me at brig@brigjohnson.com
• Stress Quiz 

Queen, let's talk about the mindfuck breakup that's been keeping you stuck—the one with Mr. "Perfect on Paper" who left your soul starved despite checking every box society told you mattered. You know the type: well-dressed, well-traveled, well-paid, and wildly unavailable emotionally. This episode is your permission slip to finally name what you've been feeling and stop gaslighting yourself into believing something was wrong with you.

It's time to get the closure you didn't get and claim the healing you absolutely deserve. Because when perfection masks a project, high-achieving Black women like you end up performing emotional triage instead of experiencing real partnership—and that ends today.

What You'll Learn

• Discover why your nervous system was screaming "something's off" even when everyone else thought you hit the jackpot.

• Reclaim your reality by learning to identify "high presentation, low intimacy" men who look like prizes but function like emotional projects

• Transform the cognitive dissonance that keeps you ruminating by naming the real problem: you weren't dating a high-value man, you were managing an undercover emotional fixer-upper.

• Shift from self-blame to self-empowerment.

• Notice how societal programming taught you to override your instincts and perform "low maintenance" just to keep the peace.

• Repair what got damaged in the process: your trust in yourself, your joy, your hope, and your ability to love without shrinking.

 

This isn't just about one relationship—it's about breaking the cycle of self-abandonment that keeps high-achieving Black women trapped in situations that look good on paper but leave us emotionally starved. When you've been conditioned to prove your worthiness of love, your nervous system starts mistaking anxiety for attraction. 

 

Take Action

Take my free quiz to discover how your nervous system and survival patterns may be blocking your clarity:

👉🏾 brigjohnson.com/stress-quiz 

 

RESOURCES

• Join my Newsletter, Unlearn and Unleash
• Share Your Takeaways With Me at brig@brigjohnson.com
• Stress Quiz 

Queen, let's talk about the confusion that nobody prepared you for: when your high-value man checks every box society told you mattered, but your nervous system is screaming that something ain't right. You're not crazy, and you're not asking for too much—you're just dealing with an emotional project disguised in designer suits and six-figure success.

In this episode, I'm breaking down why status doesn't equal safety and how to stop carrying the invisible emotional load that's draining your peace. It's time to trust your instincts and reclaim your power.

What You'll Learn

• Discover the five clear signs that your successful man is actually an emotional project in disguise
• Shift your understanding of what "high value" really means beyond bank accounts and status symbols
• Notice how cognitive dissonance shows up when someone looks like a catch but feels like chaos
• Reclaim your self-trust by understanding that asking for your needs wasn't "too much"—it was necessary
• Transform your approach to relationships by recognizing emotional availability as the true flex

Why It Matters

This conversation addresses what so many high-achieving black women experience but rarely discuss—the psychological confusion that leaves you questioning everything about yourself. We've been conditioned to endure instead of express, especially when society celebrates our "good man." Through mindset coaching and understanding neurobiology, I'm here to empower you to stop diminishing yourself and break free from self-abandonment patterns. Your peace isn't negotiable.

Take Action

Take my free quiz to discover how your nervous system and survival patterns may be blocking your clarity:

👉🏾 brigjohnson.com/stress-quiz 

 

RESOURCES

• Join my Newsletter, Unlearn and Unleash
• Share Your Takeaways With Me at brig@brigjohnson.com
• Stress Quiz 

Hey, it’s Brig! In this episode, I’m diving into de-centering men without dismissing them. This isn’t about being anti-men but becoming "pro-you." I unpack the stress women carry when our worth is tied to relationships with men, and how we can reclaim sovereignty. 

What You'll Learn:

• Historical Conditioning: How laws and culture, like credit restrictions until 1974, mandated centering men.
• Everyday Conditioning: How childhood, church, media, and dating advice push us to prioritize men.
• Reasons to De-Center: I share five powerful reasons to de-center men: your worth is inherent, not tied to a man; centering men causes health-damaging stress, especially for Black women; prioritizing men isn’t true connection if it erases you; de-centering lets men be whole, fostering healing; and it means choosing love from truth, not panic.

Remember that de-centering isn’t about rejecting love but reclaiming your power to choose it freely. Let’s build a life where love is a choice, not a chain, and step into true sovereignty together.

Take Action

Take my free quiz to discover how your nervous system and survival patterns may be blocking your clarity:

👉🏾 brigjohnson.com/stress-quiz 

 

RESOURCES

• Join my Newsletter, Unlearn and Unleash
• Share Your Takeaways With Me at brig@brigjohnson.com
• Stress Quiz