The UNKAGED™ Woman Podcast with Brig Johnson, APN, MSNA. Where high-achieving Black & Brown women reclaim themselves.

In this powerful episode, I sit down with a special guest, CJ, who recently completed the UNKAGED™ six-month coaching program. CJ shares her transformative journey from feeling unsafe and overwhelmed in her high-powered career to reclaiming her sovereignty and creating space for her passions.

What You'll Learn:

• How feeling "unsafe" in professional spaces is a common experience for Black women that drains our capacity
• Why the "strong Black woman" trope and self-sacrifice mindset limits our potential
• The power of validating your own thoughts and feelings with "this makes sense" instead of questioning yourself
• How to create more capacity by reducing stress and emotional labor
• The difference between culturally-rooted coaching and traditional coaching approaches
• Why recovery is essential for high-achieving Black women

I’m so grateful to CJ for sharing her story and insights with us. Her journey is a powerful reminder that we don’t have to settle for survival mode—we can choose recovery, reclaim our capacity, and live life on our own terms.

Take Action

Take my free quiz to discover how your nervous system and survival patterns may be blocking your clarity:

👉🏾 brigjohnson.com/stress-quiz 

 

RESOURCES

• Join my Newsletter, Unlearn and Unleash
• Share Your Takeaways With Me at brig@brigjohnson.com
• Stress Quiz 

Today, I'm talking about a pattern that's silently robbing high-achieving Black women of money, joy, and energy: self-abandonment. 

What is Self-Abandonment?

Self-abandonment happens when you leave yourself emotionally, mentally, or physically to secure someone else's comfort, approval, or validation. It's when you side with others over yourself.

We do this because somewhere along the line, we learned being fully ourselves wasn't safe. For Black women, this is compounded by generations of being told our bodies, voices, and desires needed to be managed to avoid backlash.

5 Signs You're Abandoning Yourself:

1. You override your "no" - Agreeing to things that make you dread your calendar
2. You need a "good reason" to rest - Otherwise, you feel guilty
3. You shrink your joy - Speaking less, dimming your shine, or even stopping yourself from laughing
4. You defer your decisions - Letting others decide for you, even on things that deeply impact you
5. You gaslight yourself - Downplaying your needs or telling yourself you're overreacting

The Cost Is Too High

Studies show:

• The APA found that suppressing authentic self-expression is linked to higher cortisol and inflammation levels
• Harvard Business Review reports Black women face the steepest emotional tax in professional settings, leading to earlier burnout
• Chronic self-abandonment is associated with higher rates of depression, anxiety, and stress-related illness

For high earners, this shows up as:

• Emotional: Loss of self-trust, chronic resentment, burnout
• Physical: Sleep disruption, weight fluctuations, immune issues, hypertension
• Relationship: Surface-level connections, resentment in partnerships

The Path Forward

Ask yourself: "What would I choose if I didn't need anyone's approval?"

 

Take Action

Take my free quiz to discover how your nervous system and survival patterns may be blocking your clarity:

👉🏾 brigjohnson.com/stress-quiz 

 

RESOURCES

• Join my Newsletter, Unlearn and Unleash
• Join the Next Breakthrough Master Class here
• Register for the Next Melanin Hour here
• Book a Breakthrough Call here
• Share Your Takeaways With Me at brig@brigjohnson.com
• Stress Quiz 

 

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “Something about me is just… wrong”?

In this episode, I’m getting real about internalized wrongness — that quiet, exhausting belief that your identity is a defect to fix instead of something to celebrate. I’ve lived this, and I know how sneaky it is. From code-switching until you don’t recognize your own voice, to chasing every receipt and title just to feel “enough,” it’s a cycle that drains your energy, creativity, and self-trust.

We’ll talk about how this shows up in our daily lives, why overachieving can be a mask for internalized wrongness, and the exact process I use to help Black women reset their nervous systems so authenticity feels safe again. I’ll share a client story, practical steps you can start today, and the one truth that changes everything: you were never the problem — you are the blueprint.

What you’ll learn in this episode:

• How to recognize the signs of internalized wrongness

• Why over-preparing and over-performing never bring self-trust

• The “safety scripts” that keep you editing yourself to fit in

• Small, low-risk experiments to prove to your body it’s safe to be you

• How to start stacking evidence for your worth and identity

If you’ve been shrinking, editing, or collecting receipts just to feel worthy, it’s time to reset.

Take Action

Take my free quiz to discover how your nervous system and survival patterns may be blocking your clarity:

👉🏾 brigjohnson.com/stress-quiz

RESOURCES

• Join my Newsletter, Unlearn and Unleash
• Join the Next Breakthrough Master Class here
• Register for the Next Melanin Hour here
• Book a Breakthrough Call here
• Share Your Takeaways With Me at brig@brigjohnson.com
• Stress Quiz 

keywords: internalized wrongness, self-trust for Black women, authenticity and nervous system, identity and self-worth, overcoming self-doubt, black women empowerment, authenticity coaching, nervous system reset, abandoning yourself for approval, self-safety practices, stop code switching, how to be your authentic self, allostatic load and stress, signs of identity suppression, Black women leadership mindset, building self-trust, cultural and historical stress, women’s empowerment podcast, emotional safety and authenticity, breaking free from people-pleasing

Why I Had to Name This

I created this episode because I’ve seen too many high-achieving Black and Brown women—myself included—blame ourselves for the very thoughts that helped us survive. We’ve been told to “think better,” “stay positive,” or “change our mindset,” without anyone asking where those thoughts came from or what they were protecting us from. That’s not healing. That’s cognitive violence—and we need to name it to reclaim our power.

What This Episode is Really About

In this episode, I introduce the term “cognitive violence”—a pattern I’ve witnessed in coaching spaces where mindset work is used to shame rather than support. I break down how thought-shaming can happen subtly, especially in coaching rooted in privileged perspectives that ignore systemic oppression and generational trauma.

We explore:

• Why mindset “reframing” often skips over critical context for Black and Brown women.
• How survival-based thoughts are not mindset blocks—they’re protection mechanisms.
• What it means when your biology operates on rules written by oppression (what I call colonized biology).
• Real-life examples of cognitive violence in action, and how to stop committing it against yourself.
• The difference between changing your thoughts and feeling safe enough to believe them.
• The importance of decoding your survival scripts before trying to rewrite them.

This conversation is a call to stop labeling our trauma responses as flaws—and start seeing them as wisdom. 🔥

Your Call to Action

Pattern break time → Ask yourself or a trusted friend:

1. What’s a thought I’ve been shaming myself for having?
2. When did I first learn it, and who taught me?
3. What was that thought trying to protect me from?

Then write it down. Speak it aloud. Witness it.

And if you’re ready to go deeper—take the free Stress Survival Style Quiz to start decoding your own survival patterns.

Take Action

Take my free quiz to discover how your nervous system and survival patterns may be blocking your clarity:

👉🏾 brigjohnson.com/stress-quiz

RESOURCES

• Join my Newsletter, Unlearn and Unleash
• Join the Next Breakthrough Master Class here
• Register for the Next Melanin Hour here
• Book a Breakthrough Call here
• Share Your Takeaways With Me at brig@brigjohnson.com
• Stress Quiz 

KEYWORDS: mindset coaching, trauma-informed coaching, Black women healing, cognitive violence, mindset work, colonized biology, nervous system regulation, emotional safety, survival thoughts, generational trauma, uncoached coaching, thought shaming, inner command center, stress survival style, self-sabotage, coaching for Black women

Hey y’all, it’s Brig. This one is personal. Equal Pay Day just passed—and it’s not a celebration, it’s a correction. A reminder that Black and Brown women are still months behind in earnings, every single year. This episode is for every woman who’s been grinding, staying late, over-preparing, and still being undervalued. I brought in the powerhouse Anita Miller to help us go deeper—not just into the numbers, but into the language of worth. We’re not just talking about the wage gap. We’re dismantling the silence that keeps us underpaid.

In this episode, we unpack:

• Why Equal Pay Day isn’t a holiday—it’s a reality check

• The disturbing math behind racial and gender pay gaps

• How communication—not credentials—is often the barrier

• The Power Language Method and why it’s a game changer

• The hidden ways we shrink in negotiation and leadership

• Why AI could widen the gap even further—and how to prepare

• How to move from “doing more” to strategic influence

• Why internal safety is a leadership skill (and yes, it’s contagious)

Anita doesn’t hold back—and neither do I. If you’ve ever felt overlooked, underpaid, or unsure how to advocate for yourself, this episode is a must-listen.

🎧 Ready to evolve and command your worth? Press play. Then share it with a friend who needs to hear it too.

About Anita:

Anita R. Miller, MBA, PMP is a power strategist who discovered why qualified professional Black women stay stuck despite their credentials—and created the only system that fixes it.

After 20+ years in corporate leadership spanning risk management, project management, and supply chain, Anita identified The Leadership Language Divide™: the gap in access to language of leadership and the price paid when you don't know it. While other experts focus on confidence and visibility, Anita saw that the real barrier was language—professional women were speaking like employees when they needed to sound like executives.

Through Power Speaks Your Name™, Anita teaches The Leadership Language Trifecta™ that closes this divide. Her system shows women how to stop speaking like they work there and start speaking like they run it—especially crucial as AI increasingly analyzes workplace communication patterns.

With 750+ professional women transformed through her frameworks, Anita's pattern recognition abilities allow her to see workplace shifts and corporate failures before they become obvious. Her mission is clear: teach professional women the language that positions them as decision-makers, not just high performers—so they control resources, shape strategy, and change systems from positions of power.

As a sought-after speaker and thought leader, Anita challenges conventional wisdom about women's advancement. She believes the time for hoping qualifications will speak for themselves is over—now women must learn to speak with the authority their expertise deserves.

Connect with Anita:

Website: https://powerspeaksyourname.com/ 

Podcast: https://powerspeaksyourname.com/podcast/

 

Take Action

Take my free quiz to discover how your nervous system and survival patterns may be blocking your clarity:

👉🏾 brigjohnson.com/stress-quiz

 

RESOURCES:

Join my Newsletter, Unlearn and Unleash

Join the Next Breakthrough Master Class here

Register for the Next Melanin Hour here

Book a Breakthrough Call here

Share Your Takeaways With Me at brig@brigjohnson.com 

• Join my Newsletter, Unlearn and Unleash
• Join the Next Breakthrough Master Class here
• Register for the Next Melanin Hour here
• Book a Breakthrough Call here
• Share Your Takeaways With Me at brig@brigjohnson.com
• Stress Quiz 

Keywords: equal pay day, pay gap 2025, racial wage gap, gender pay inequality, women of color pay gap, anita miller power language, brig johnson podcast, black women and equal pay, salary negotiation for women, how to ask for a raise, communication and leadership, strategic communication in the workplace, language and career advancement, dei rollback 2025, power language method, negotiation tips for women, ai and workplace inequality, internal safety and leadership, salary gap for black women, latina pay equity, how to advocate for your worth, visibility and promotion at work, executive presence vs authenticity, workplace language bias, confidence and career growth

 

I missed y’all! Life hit me with a virus, and instead of pushing through, I practiced what I preach—I rested. And in that stillness, something clicked: too many of us are walking around disconnected from our inner YAS—our sacred, soul-level yes—because it’s been buried under other people’s voices.

This episode is for the queens who feel stuck, confused, or overwhelmed because they’ve been outsourcing their clarity to everyone else: family, friends, systems, partners... It's time to come back home to your truth.

What this episode is really about:

• Why you can’t hear your YES when it’s drowned out by everyone else’s “shoulds”
• The authority gap and how it keeps you from trusting your inner wisdom
• The sacred 5-step soul sorting process to reclaim your decision-making power
• What I learned during my divorce about making hard decisions for YOU—not for anyone else
• Why your truth needs protection, incubation, and stillness before it's ready to be shared
• How to stop crowdsourcing your clarity and start trusting your nervous system’s signals
• Journal prompts and practical tools to help you uncover and anchor your YES

Take Action

If you’ve been feeling stuck or anxious about making a big decision, don’t rush it—soul sort it.

Start by taking my free quiz to discover how your nervous system and survival patterns may be blocking your clarity:

👉🏾 brigjohnson.com/stress-quiz

And if this episode spoke to you, send it to a friend who’s struggling with their own YES. Let’s help each other get free 💛

RESOURCES:

Join my Newsletter, Unlearn and Unleash

Join the Next Breakthrough Master Class here

Register for the Next Melanin Hour here

Book a Breakthrough Call here

Share Your Takeaways With Me at brig@brigjohnson.com Stress Quiz

• Join my Newsletter, Unlearn and Unleash
• Join the Next Breakthrough Master Class here
• Register for the Next Melanin Hour here
• Book a Breakthrough Call here
• Share Your Takeaways With Me at brig@brigjohnson.com
• Stress Quiz 

KEYWORDS: soul sorting, inner YES, nervous system clarity, decision-making power, authority gap, stress quiz for women, trust your intuition, stop people pleasing, how to make aligned decisions, emotional clarity, personal growth, emotional healing, mindset podcast, self discovery, women’s empowerment

I recorded this episode on the 4th of July, a day that symbolizes freedom — but for many of us, true freedom starts when we stop shrinking to make others comfortable.

Last week, we talked about the invisible ways we try to stay lovable by making ourselves small. This week, I want to speak to the sting of being seen as your old self — even after you’ve done the inner work.

You’ve changed. But what happens when the people closest to you don’t see it...

What you’ll hear in this episode:

• Why it’s painful when your growth isn’t acknowledged

• What “shrink scripts” are and how they’ve shaped you

• The grief of being seen as your past self — and how to name it

• Reframes and mindset shifts to stay rooted in your progress

• Tools to protect your expansion

• Why your nervous system isn’t sabotaging you — it’s trying to protect you

• How to stop outsourcing your validation and declare your evolution

Your next step:

Close your eyes, hand on your chest, and repeat:
“I’ve changed. I’m still changing. And I don’t need permission to keep evolving.”

Then ask yourself:
What’s one truth I’m ready to stand in — even if no one claps yet?

RESOURCES:

• Join my Newsletter, Unlearn and Unleash
• Join the Next Breakthrough Master Class here
• Register for the Next Melanin Hour here
• Book a Breakthrough Call here
• Share Your Takeaways With Me at brig@brigjohnson.com
• Take the Stress Quiz  

Stay Connected

• Instagram → @brigjohnsoncoaching
• Facebook → Brig Johnson Coaching
• Website → www.brigjohnson.com

Hey y’all—Brig here. Today I’m bringing you a topic that might hit close to home: playing small just to stay loved. Whether it’s at work, in relationships, or even around family, too many of us shrink ourselves to make others feel more comfortable. I’ve been there. I know what it’s like to silence your voice, tone yourself down, and wear outdated roles just to keep the peace.

But that strategy? It’s costing you more than you realize.

In this episode, I’m not here to shame you—I’m here to bring awareness. To name the cages. To help you identify the "shrink scripts" you’ve inherited from well-meaning people who didn’t know any better. I’ll show you how to unkage your voice, your body, your mind, and your entire life. Because surviving isn’t the same as living—and queen, it’s time to live unkaged.

What We’ll Dive Into in This Episode:

• Why conditional love is often disguised as safety
• The emotional cost of shrinking yourself in friendships, at work, and at home
• The invisible work no one sees—but that’s changing you daily
• “Shrink scripts” from family, culture, and your own past—and how to rewrite them
• The difference between surviving and thriving
• A powerful voice note exercise to reconnect with your growth

Take Action – Your Uncaging Starts Now

Ask yourself: Where are you still playing small to be loved?

 

RESOURCES:

• Join my Newsletter, Unlearn and Unleash
• Join the Next Breakthrough Master Class here
• Register for the Next Melanin Hour here
• Book a Breakthrough Call here
• Share Your Takeaways With Me at brig@brigjohnson.com
• Take the Stress Quiz  

Stay Connected

• Instagram → @brigjohnsoncoaching
• Facebook → Brig Johnson Coaching
• Website → www.brigjohnson.com

This episode isn’t just about fitness—it’s about redefining what’s possible. HYROX challenged me in ways I never expected. It wasn’t just about the workouts or the competition—it was about pushing through pain, breaking mental barriers, and proving that power doesn’t have an expiration date. I’m joined by my training partner Cynthia and our incredible coach, Coach O, to share the real journey: the highs, the hard days, and everything it took to reclaim strength, confidence, and joy in our bodies after 60.

What This Episode Is About

In this episode, we dive into:

• 🏋🏾‍♀️ What HYROX is and why it became more than a fitness goal for us
• The power of reclaiming your body and identity through strength training
• What training after 60 looks like—mentally, physically, and emotionally
• The unexpected healing, sisterhood, and self-trust built along the way
• The moment we came in last—and why it still felt like a win
• Why building strength is essential, not optional, at this stage of life

You’ll hear real talk about cramps, doubts, breakthroughs, and post-race high fives. It’s honest, inspiring, and proof that “too late” is a myth we’re done believing.

If this episode sparked something in you, share it with a friend who needs to be reminded that her strongest years might still be ahead.

✨ And if you haven’t already, take my free quiz 

 

Train with Coach O: https://www.instagram.com/corinthian.fit

Follow Cynthia: https://www.instagram.com/campy1130

More Episodes: brigjohnson.com/podcast

 

RESOURCES:

• Join my Newsletter, Unlearn and Unleash
• Join the Next Breakthrough Master Class here
• Register for the Next Melanin Hour here
• Book a Breakthrough Call here
• Share Your Takeaways With Me at brig@brigjohnson.com

What if the moment you thought signaled the end… was really the beginning?
In this episode, I share what the "Old Lady Division" taught me about purpose, identity, and the quiet power of coming back to yourself—stronger, clearer, and more grounded than ever.

This isn’t about reinvention. It’s about returning to the version of you that always knew.

You’ll learn:

• Why turning 60 brought unexpected emotional challenges

• How I trained for a global fitness competition after setbacks

• The quiet ways women start to feel invisible — and how to shift it

• Why purpose doesn’t need perfection — it needs action

• What it means to return to yourself instead of reinventing

• How to identify your new non-negotiables

• A practical question to ask yourself today: What have I shelved that I’m ready to reclaim?

Ready to uncover the stress patterns keeping you stuck — and start building a life that fits who you are now? Stress Quiz HERE

 

RESOURCES:

• Join my Newsletter, Unlearn and Unleash
• Book a Breakthrough Call here
• Share Your Takeaways With Me at brig@brigjohnson.com